Insommia
by Kate Maxwell
Summary: Complete! Based after movie, what if something was wrong with one of the boys. Will they be able to help him or will he continue to hide it.
1. Chapter 1

"Thunderbird Five to Tracy Island, May Day! May Day!" John called before a massive explosion rocked the geostationary orbital satellite, plunging it into the chaos of computer consoles shorting out and blowing up with shrapnel flying everywhere. The pilot had been thrown back from the main console and slammed into a bulkhead in the passageway leading to one of the gantries that made up Thunderbird Five.

Stunned and felt his left arm shoot rapid attacks of pain to his nerves, John fought back up on his feet and over to the consoles, shaking on his feet slightly while checking around the burning station, hearing the computers sparking and fry under the fires and short circuits caused by the explosion.

Checking the computer console in front of him, John grabbed the edge of it before his knees gave away making him gasp in pain and clutch his left arm tightly to his chest so not to hurt it any more.

Working one handed on the console battling into trying to find what systems were online and what systems were offline while trying to keep the communication channel open and intact. A sudden cracking sound gained his sudden and full attention, looking around John found a crack developing in one of the windows of the control room.

The crack grew larger every second being pulled and tugged at by the pressure of outer space, John knew then that the satellite was doomed as well as his life. The crack let out an almighty loud boom as it blew out into space. Air rushed out through the breach in the hull, John fought to hold on, but the pull of space was too strong, it picked him up and sent him tumbling helplessly through the breach into space.

* * *

Jumping awake, John breathed heavily and felt sweat travelling down his cheeks and forehead. Shakily, he threw the light blanket off and swung around till he had his legs on the edge of the bed. Resting his head in his hands with his elbows on his legs, he rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands.

Another nightmare, one of the series of nightmares John had been having ever since the encounter with the Hood, when the Hood had attacked and crippled Thunderbird Five in order to move the rest of his family away from the island.

Sighing John fought up onto his feet and over to the open double doors that led out onto the balcony. Looking out over the view of the darkened jungle and glimmering ocean beyond it, he realised that it was still early in the morning and with a glance to his watch, John figured out that sunrise wasn't for another three hours.

With a deep sigh John moved back inside and got changed into a light shirt and trousers, he would have a shower later but right now he needed to get away from the house.

Soon he finished changing, made sure his hair looked neat, then quietly left the room and away into the main complex before heading to one of the jungle paths that John had been walking along since being let out of the complex after his injuries had healed.

* * *

Opening his eyes, the young man stared at the ceiling and sighed to himself knowing that next door slept one of his brothers.

Shaking the sheets off, he grabbed his shirt off the back of the chair before putting it on along with his slip on sandles and stepped out of his room to follow his brother in the shadows.

* * *

Stepping out into the early morning mist that had formed over the pools during the night though will soon fade once the sun appeared over the horizon. John stretched tenderly and sighed before heading into the jungle for a walk to clear his head before heading back to bed for a few hours for some much needed yet denied sleep.

Weaving in and out of the fastly overgrown jungle path that was still need tending to as some things did get forgotton in the aftermath of the incident when the residents of the island was held capture in the freezer or the boys being trapped along with their father on the crippled Thunderbird Five.

Shaking his head, John jumped over the tree roots that stuck out along the path. This jungle path was one he mostly used to get up to one of his favourite cave hideaways, it gave what he thought was the best view of the night sky over the ocean but it also gave the best view of the ocean for when he needed to get away from the craziness of the island's residents whenever he was down on Earth.

* * *

The young man followed along the path, being careful not to make a noise that would give away his location and his plan of following his brother.

He was worried about John and wanted to try and help, seeing him wounded and covered in dust and grime from the fires and explosions up in the satellite had made him more worried than he had been since International Rescue first started.

He always worried about his brother being alone up in Thunderbird Five with the occasional call from the base up to see how he was or visa versa, but still his presense was missed down on the island.

The small party of having their youngest brother joining the ranks of the thunderbirds, as they were so named in the press, was a nice way to be all together as one happy family. Smiling at the memory of the fun they had when the temptation of leaving John floating on the air bed became too much and they had ganged up on him, making him fall off the bed into the water below.

Sighing, the young man continued following John and made sure that he did not make a single out of place noise and a nice distance away so that incase his brother wanted to check his surroundings that he could hide.

* * *

John climbed up and half slipped as he climbed up the side of the cliff until he reached the top of the cliff, he had discovered this a few years after they moved to the island. Whenever something bothered him and he was down on the island, John had crept out of the main complex and through the jungle to this spot.

It was a small rock formation that formed a small and shallow cave, it was enough to protect anyone or anything in the shelter it gave. The view was either out to the jungle or towards one of the larger beaches and the ocean depending on where the person sat to, either in the shallow cave or up on top of the rock lip.

Sighing as he climbed into the shallow cave, John sat down on the moss covered rocks and looked out over the darkened jungle and the sky that was begining to brighten up. Resting his head in his hands he felt the shudders of the nightmares he had been having resurface due to the darkness his hands pressed against his eyes provided and made him look up away from them.

Getting back up on his feet, he made his way over to the edge of the cave and leaned against it, his head turned to face the view below.

* * *

To be continued...

Author note : I am working on chapter three of Runaway, just had a slight block at the beginning but it is always on my mind and in my pad ready for me to work on!

Is it me or do I like torturing my favourite character? Oh well... hope you review!


	2. Chapter 2

Insomnia  
Chapter Two

_Breakfast time_

Breakfast time, one of the many times that there was madness around the large table where the three families would gather to eat their meals. Scattered around the table was the Tracy Family with their own chaotic way of helping each other make sure that they get what they politely asked for, Brains and Fermat Hackenbacker near the Tracy's and the Belagant family on the other though they would be the last to settle down being the manservant's and helpers to the Tracy Family.

Scott and Virgil chatted away about a baseball game coming up later that day and hoped that nothing came up from the automated systems that were settled up until Thunderbird Five was fully back online.

Gordon was talking to Alan, who was due back to Wharton Academy at the beginning of next week along with Fermat, though the whole family knew that the youngest of the Tracy siblings did not want to go back to school but had no choice.

Brains was talking to Jeff about some changes in the systems of Thunderbird Five during the repairs as according to the young genius that it was time the space station's systems were updated to increase its output. Fermat was listening in with great interest and adding his own comment from time to time as he helped his father down in the laboratory whenever he had the chance or was here on the island.

The Belagant family sat down peacefully eating at their own breakfast and admired how their close friends were enjoying one nice breakfast together.

The only person missing from this chaotic view of a peaceful breakfast was John Tracy, for he was still asleep from his late return from clearing his head. Everyone admired giving the young blond Tracy some space after the trauma he had been through even though it had been several weeks since his wounds had completely healed... physically anyway.

Scott and Virgil looked up to seeing John enter the room, looking a little tired but freshly showered and a book tucked under his arm. For the last few weeks, he had brought the book down to breakfast, grabbed some toast and disappeared off to read his book in the lounge while eating the toast.

"Morning John" Scott said cheerfully making space for him to join them at the table.

"Morning Scott, hi everyone" John said with a slight yawn, helped himself to some coffee before disappearing to the lounge.

Virgil watched their brother walk off nursing the cup of coffee tightly. "At least that's a slight change.." He muttered quietly so not to be overheard.

"It is" Scott muttered in reply watching where John had gone.

Jeff saw the interaction between the two brothers and sighed inwardly, "Now boys, we all know that John has gone through a hard time with all that happened but it had happened.. we were there as soon as we could -" He told his two older sons.

"I know Dad, but I just wish we can be there for him now! I know that John's doing his best in hiding it but he's hurt... when we saw him up there…he was in more pain than we first knew" Virgil interrupted remembering when John had fallen asleep aboard Thunderbird Two on the way home from the incident with Jeff flying Thunderbird Three.

Gordon looked up from where he was talking with Alan, "I remember.. just glad that those harnesses are tighter than they look" He said as he reached forward for his drink.

"It did worry us as he did keep taping his arm against it... but John wouldn't stay in the sick bay" Virgil said with a sigh before sipping his own drink.

* * *

John listened to his family talk quietly knowing that he was their subject of discussion before he headed out onto the sundeck to sip on his coffee before going back to his room and work on some of the systems Brains has asked him to help with.

While in there, John would also keep an eye on the automated systems that currently ran Thunderbird Five. With a sigh, he sat down on his favourite sun lounger and opened his book to his marked place.

He knew that his family was worried about him, he felt someone following him each time John needed to get away from the main complex after one of his nightmares. He was surviving on two hours sleep instead of the normal six or seven that was average to him, sipping quietly on his coffee, not really looking at the words on the pages in his open book he sighed and enjoyed the aroma of the coffee hoping that the caffeine would wake him up and keep him going while in front of his family.

* * *

A few hours past and the family split up to go on with their own chores, Scott had gone off to jog around the island while Virgil disappeared to make adjustments to some of the equipment down in the hangers. Gordon was in the pool, swimming around with Fermat watching from the deck and Alan having gone inside to change into his swimming gear and join his brother in the pool.

Brains was discussing plans with Jeff in the office, they were mainly plans for updating Thunderbird Five while they repaired the outer ring and the hull. They had decided that they would take this opportunity to upgrade some of the systems on the geostationary orbital satellite.

John, himself had gone back into his room, his music playing in the background so that anyone who wanted to see him knew that he was busy working on his computer. Even though his fingers were flying across the keyboard typing line after line of code for a new program that Brains had asked for, John's mind was elsewhere, going over the cause of the nightmares and how he had coped with them.

The one thing that had got John worried was the emotional mask that he had started wearing to hide the fact that he had only survived on two hours, three at the most over the last few weeks since the nightmares had gotten more constant. He had asked his father if he could run command and control on the island as he didn't trust himself out on the danger zone incase his mask slipped, which is did now and again in front of his family.

John sighed deeply and saved the new program onto disc so that Brains could go over it and adjust it to what he needed it for. '_What is the chance that Brains is giving me these jobs in hope of that it will keep me busy' _He thought to himself as he started work on the next program.

Sighing once again, John looked at Brains's notes while figuring out how to solve the problem. '_Sooner Thunderbird Five is back up and running the better... he is definitely trying to keep me busy_' HE thought to himself, his fingers taping the edge of the keyboard in time with the music in the background.

* * *

The young man moved away from his brother's door hearing the music was loud enough to cover the occupant's actions so that any passerby wouldn't be able to hear.

'_Just wish that he would break down... he can't keep this bottled up forever_' He thought to himself with a sigh and headed back into the main complex.

"Hey! Anything from John's room?" Gordon called from out of the pool, Alan in there now too with him.

"No.. he's got his music on, just worried that he might not handle the return to the space station once its repaired" The young man said with a groan as he sat on the sun lounger, out on the sundeck.

"He'll be fine Virg, all we can do is be there for him for whenever John does break down" Scott said as he came out of the jungle up onto the sundeck.

"True Scott... all we can do is be there for him when he needs us" Virgil said and covered a yawn.

* * *

With all of the parts assembled and the systems fully updated, with three months of constant work while Jeff had sent John to mainland to handle some of the company meetings.

Now that the air filters had been given time to clean the air and circulate the clean air around the space station. Thunderbird Three had been launched and was now getting ready to dock with Thunderbird Five, with John as the pilot.

Virgil and Scott came along to help with the final testing and unloading of the supplies, as Virgil was the only other trained pilot of the rocket of their fleet aside from Jeff and of course John, he would be needed to fly Thunderbird Three back to earth once their job was done in helping their brother settle back in the newly refurbished geostationary orbital satellite.

John focused on docking Thunderbird Three to Thunderbird Five, soon a large shake echoed around the rocket. "Docking complete" He announced as he locked down Thunderbird Three before releasing his harness.

"Great John, let's get these supplies unloaded and give Thunderbird Five's systems one last test" Scott said as he undid his own harness and rose up onto his feet.

"Ok Scott, I just need to get to lock down Thunderbird Three and I'll be right there with you" John told his eldest brother before heading the code being entered and the tunnel hatch beeped in response saying that it was secure.

Virgil watched Scott disappear out of the rocket and across to the satellite before turning to look at John, who was focused on the controls of Thunderbird Three in front of him. "John, is everything ok?" He asked as he undid his own harness but remained in his seat.

John snapped out of his thoughts, "Sorry Virg... yeah I'm fine, I have finished locking down 'three's systems so let's go and join Scott" He said getting up out of his seat with a smile and a slight stretch.

Virgil inwardly sighed seeing the tough mask back on John's face, "Sure, let's go! I expect Scott is performing the tests as we speak" He said with a smile and rose up from his seat, freeing his tool bag as he did so.

"Yeah he probably has" John said and followed Virgil along the tunnel across to Thunderbird Five. As they crossed, John looked out of the large panels of the tunnel, out into the far reaches of outer space. As they continued, he saw the shine of the new plating of where they had replaced the whole of the outer ring plating to a tougher alloy.

"Hey Scott! How is the tests?" Virgil asked joining Scott at the main console. They had curved the main console around in a slight horseshoe shape to help the person, who was operating the space station, navigate better than the long rectangular console that they originally designed.

"They're ok so far Virg, almost done actually" Scott said from the console, spinning around on the chair with a grin, which quickly disappeared when he saw John standing in the doorway from the tunnel.

Virgil turned around and saw John looked more pale than he normally was, there was a light shine of sweat all over his face, his normal clear blue eyes were glassy and lost of all emotion. "John?" He called over to his brother wondering what was wrong with him.

_Fire... smoke... darkness being pierced apart by the emergency lighting or the light caused by the fires. The smell of burning metal and wires filled the air. As John looked around all he could see was the destruction and chaos of the control room after the missile had hit the outer ring. _

Scott and Virgil looked at each other before sharing worried glances at John, who slowly walked over to join them. "I'm... I'm fine..." John muttered as he joined his brothers at the main console of the control room.

_Thunderbird Five to Tracy Island! May day! May day! _A echo played in John's mind as he touched the newly designed console.

"Are you sure you're ok? Because we can leave this to another day if you want to" Scott said, worry and concern written on his face and in his voice as he rose up from the chair to allow John to sit there in his stead.

"Y-yeah" John muttered, wiping away the sweat with the sleeve of his uniform before he touched the keyboard but froze up. "I...I..." He muttered quietly feeling his barriers crash down causing the tears o slide down his pale cheeks.

"Come on John, It's ok" Virgil spoke softly, helping John back up on his feet and across to the hatch that led to the tunnel, back across to Thunderbird Three. Scott followed close behind, worried for John now that he was breaking down.

* * *

To be continued...

And I apologize to my readers of this fanfic, I have just been so tied up what with all of my energy going into Tears - whenever I have a free moment with energy that is.  
So hoping that things go well with chapter three of that, chapter three of Insomnia should be around sooner than this one!


	3. Chapter 3

Insomnia 

Chapter Three

Virgil gently sat John down in one of the seats in Thunderbird Three and glanced over at Scott, who looked scared and worried for their brother. Looking back at his older brother, Virgil saw that John had hid his face in his gloved hands and saw his shoulders shaking as the suppressed tears came free.

"It's ok John, we didn't expect you back up here so quickly" He said with a slight smile to try and cheer John up slightly.

"I'm letting you down, I-I just thought that maybe once she was repaired then I can come back up here and t-take my place back amongst the team" John's voice sounded strained and cracked amongst the sobs that echoed through his body and along his throat.

"Why would you think that John? You're our brother before a member of International Rescue!" Scott said as they were all closer as a family than as a team even though they didn't act like it out in the field.

John didn't answer but coughed quietly, moving his hands away from his face. "I-I-I'm sorry..." He muttered before looking at the floor of the rocket.

Virgil inwardly sighed, "It's ok John, how about we head home and talk more about it there?" He said and took his place in the pilot's seat as John was in no shape to fly Thunderbird Three back to the island.

John nodded and did his own restraints up, his hands shaking badly as he did so. Scott saw this and gave him a hand before going across to his own seat and did his own restraints up, "We're ready here Virgil, though we should call Dad to say that we're coming back early" He said knowing that they should call Jeff so not to catch him off guard.

"Ok Scott, we'll do that once we're through the atmosphere" Virgil said focusing on locking the airlock and leave Thunderbird Five to its set orbit before plotting a safe course back through the atmosphere.

* * *

Jeff sighed and sipped on his coffee, looking at the mural on the wall lost in his own thoughts. He could see the smiles on all of his family's faces but most of all, the smiles hit their eyes but Jeff had noticed that the normal twinkle that was in John's blue eyes had been missing since the incident over four months ago.

They all had their fair share of nightmares of the incident thinking of how it could have gone wrong or what could have happened differently but it didn't, Jeff's own nightmares left doubt clouding his heart of wanting his second eldest son returning to space but keeping John away from the space station would be like keeping Gordon out of the pool.

Looking at the clock on the wall Jeff could see that if everything was ok with the geostationary orbital satellite, Thunderbird Five then they would almost be done unloading Thunderbird Three and report in to say that everything checked out fine.

"Thunderbird Three to Base, come in" Virgil's voice called disturbing Jeff's thoughts.

"Go ahead Thunderbird Three, is everything ok?" Jeff asked as Virgil's face came up on the monitor and could see that something had happened between his sons.

"Not exactly Dad but its best that we talk about it once we're home, and it's about John" Virgil said before glancing slightly behind him to see Scott nod, they were keeping their voices down as John had falling into a fitful sleep.

Jeff sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly, "I see Virgil, how long till you arrive back on the island?" He asked setting the now empty coffee cup down on the table.

Virgil hesitated as he went over the instrumentation in front of him and calculated till they arrived back to the island, "I think about a hour and a half Dad" He said and heard a moan from behind him.

"What's wrong?" Jeff asked wondering what was going on in Thunderbird Three with his three oldest sons.

"John is having a nightmare Dad... sounds pretty bad" Virgil said as Scott freed himself from his own restraints to help wake his brother from the fitful sleep.

"Better leave him alone Scott, he may not look strong but he still can be just as strong as you" Jeff warned his eldest son.

"Ok Dad, though it is worrying... he just froze up there" Scott said as he sat back down and did his own restraints back up.

Jeff inwardly sighed, "Ok Scott, we can talk about this better once you have returned home safe" He said sensing a long talk between the three of them coming once they had returned safely back to the island.

"F-A-B Dad, see you soon" Scott replied and closed the communication line leaving Jeff to his thoughts once more.

_

* * *

'Thunderbird Five to Tracy Island, May Day! May Day!' His voice echoed in his mind just before a large explosion rocked the satellite, sending him flying back and landing hard against the bulkhead leading to one of the many gantries of Thunderbird Five._

_John could feel his arm screaming in pain as he tried to move it along with his entire body, shaking away the first signs of shock and the dizziness in his head as he battled against the small fires bursting into life in different places of the control room. _

_The fires filled the control room with smoke as he fought through the fried control panels, shielding his face away occasionally as sparks flew up out of them. A screen filled with static flickered showing the damage done to the outer ring, fighting against the static and the damage along its connections. _

_John coughed harshly as he found it hard to breathe due to the lack of oxygen and the amount of smoke in the room, he shook his head again wincing as it jarred his bad arm but fought through to keep his remaining systems online for as long as he could. _

_"J... hang on, we'r. ..most th..e" The communication channel crackled. _

_Looking over the panels, John winced again as sparks flew out of the communication panel. "I'm loosing all power... I repeat, I'm loosing all power" He called out before giving way to another coughing fit before the station was rocked by another explosion. _

_Jumping up, he could make it that Thunderbird Three had been hit by another missile. "Dad!" John screamed._

John jumped awake covered in a cold sweat to find Scott and Virgil watching with concerned faces.

"Hey, it's ok John" Scott said in a calming voice as he undid his restraints and walked over to John's side.

"Scotty?" John asked in a small squeaky voice looking lost where he was and just wanted his father to see if he was safe and alive.

Scott took John's hands into his own to find his younger brother's hands were shaking from the effects of the nightmare, "It's ok Johnny, it was just a dream... we're all safe and sound" He said in a calming voice while Virgil focused on piloting Thunderbird Three.

John felt his cheeks and eyes burn once more as tears formed, "I-it was so real..." He muttered quietly fighting against the tears as they formed and rolled down his cheeks.

"But that's where you're wrong, it was only a dream" Scott said in a more stern voice and inwardly sighed seeing John crying due to the shock of the nightmare. '_Must have been bad this time..._' He thought to himself as he heard Virgil cough slightly to get their attention.

"Suggest you buckle back up Scott, We've got to go through some stormy weather and make a different approach to what I originally planned" Virgil announced seeing a tropical storm had appeared during re-entry.

"I'll give you a hand Virgil, engine three has been playing up..." John said undoing his restraints and moved across to the co-pilot seat, earning concerned looks from Virgil and Scott.

"You sure John?" Scott asked holding onto what was John's chair for support.

"Y-yeah I'm sure... I think this 'bird better than both of you" John said wiping at his eyes with the sleeve of his uniform to help clear his vision of the tears that had formed from the shock of the nightmare.

"Ok John, I'll radio through to Dad and say about the storm" Virgil said as John did his harness up then activated the co-pilot controls.

"Right Virgil, just hope the booster behaves itself... better strap yourself in Scott! Three hasn't been built for tropical storms" John said as he focused on doing his checks on Thunderbird Three's systems.

Scott climbed in and did his own harness up, double checking the security of it as he watched both John and Virgil as they double checked the tightness of their gloves before working on the instrumentation in front of them.

"Here we go everybody" Virgil muttered as the rocket shuddered a little at the first winds of the storm.

* * *

Jeff paced the length of his office, unable to focus on anything including his paperwork after receiving a message from Virgil saying that a tropical storm had appeared along Thunderbird Three's flight plan slowing them down.

'_Thunderbird Three lost a booster Dad, we'll never make it in time_' John's voice echoed in his mind but got shaken away.

'_We fixed that! And besides they're home, they're on their way up here now!_' Jeff thought to himself coming to a halt at the large window that covered one wall of his office, giving him a view of the jungle and the distant ocean.

He had transformed the room back from command and control to his office shortly after Thunderbird Three had landed, Jeff had used the systems in command and control to track the rocket back to the island.

"Dad?" A quiet voice called him from his thoughts, spinning around on the balls of his feet Jeff came face to face with his second born son.

Instead of the bright blue eyes with slightly rosy cheeks and the smile that John usually were when around his family was a young man with dull blue eyes, dark patches under his eyes from the lack of sleep and dried tear trails down his pale cheeks.

"John? It's ok" Jeff said with a smile, "You're home, here safe and sound" He said before John hid his face into his shoulder, John's arms around Jeff's back.

"J-just t-thought tha-that I lost you" John's muffled voice said as Jeff held onto his son, inwardly grateful that he had now broken down.

"I'm not going anywhere John, just let it all out and you'll feel better in no time" Jeff spoke softly, leading John over to the couch with slight difficulty.

John felt the softness of the couch as he continued to cry into his father's shoulder, feeling the warmth and security his father's arms gave him as all of the bottled up emotions from all of the nightmares was released.

Jeff just continued to hold his son securely until he felt John become a dead weight against him before hearing a quiet snore signalling that he was fast asleep. '_Hope he sleeps this time with some of his demons banished_' He thought to himself before making himself comfortable on the couch to watch over his son as he slept.

To be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

**Insomnia  
****Chapter Four**

Scott walked into the lounge quietly after finishing checking Thunderbird Three was secure with Virgil to check on his brother to find Jeff watching over John as he slept. "Dad" He spoke up softly once he was close enough.

Jeff looked up gently without disturbing his second born son, "Hey Scott, think he is going to sleep for a while now" He said quietly looking down at John, who was deeply asleep after the small breakdown he had had.

"We should move him to his room, he will be more comfortable there… I should have seen that he was holding back his emotions" Scott said with a sigh, beating himself up for not seeing how badly John was suffering from the nightmares and the stress of being attacked had done to him.

"We should, but it's not going to be easy… he's not the lightest of you five" Jeff said not moving from where John had moved in his sleep slightly to a more comfortable position. "Then once we do get him into his room, I think that we shouldn't leave him alone" He added hearing a small moan as he moved his arm to stop the cramp building up in his arm that John was using as a pillow.

Scott sighed deeply, "Yeah I know Dad, remember helping getting him across to Thunderbird Three when he had broke his arm" He said as Virgil came in to the room, still dressed in his uniform.

"Hi Dad, do you need some help in getting him to his room?" Virgil asked softly seeing John fast asleep against their father.

"Would be nice son, just have to do it gently as he does need his sleep" Jeff said trying not to move too much so not to disturb John as he continued to sleep deeply.

"Ok Virgil, let's take a arm each but we got to take it easy" Scott said moving closer to the couch as Jeff slowly freed himself from where John had moved to lean against his chest, his arm trapped behind his son's back.

Virgil nodded and stepped up closer, taking John's right arm slowly before looking up at Scott to see that he had got John's left arm before they slowly pulled him up onto his feet catching their brother's weight with a slight struggle.

"Got him boys?" Jeff asked as he got up with a slight groan and stretched out the cramps that had developed in that short time from the awkward angles he had been in.

"Y-yeah, we got him Dad but can you go ahead of us and clear the path" Scott said as he put John's arm across his shoulders with Virgil copying his action then together lifted John up into a fireman's cradle, with their arms tucked under his legs.

"If it's possible Scott, he's heavier than you" Virgil groaned slightly as they stepped forward slowly together so not to knock John out of his much needed sleep.

Jeff looked at his sons and sighed before leading the way to the bedrooms, wondering if this was the beginning of his son's long mental healing process.

* * *

Scott and Virgil sighed with relief as they sunk down onto the large comfortable orange couch with Jeff fetching drinks from the kitchen.

They could feel their arm muscles, which had become quiet strained by the time they got John lowered down into his bed starting to ache and relax after the big strain they had put on them.

"Here you go boys, now I want to hear what exactly happened once you had docked with Thunderbird Five" Jeff said to his sons in his stern voice as he set down a tray with three glasses of cool drink on it.

"I went ahead to start the tests while Virgil and John locked down Thunderbird Three as procedure, everything seemed fine then Dad but I was in Thunderbird Five" Scott said reaching across for his drink with a small wince.

"I could see that John was distracted Dad, and it seemed that he was caught up in his emotions… his fingers working on automatic but his mind wasn't there" Virgil explained, leaning back deeper into the couch.

"It was eerie but once I called out to John, he came back and so we crossed to Thunderbird Five… but that is where it began" He carried on while rolling his shoulders slightly.

Jeff nodded and watched his sons carefully, they had nightmares of their own and had come to talk to him in confidence but John just tried to get past them himself.

"I could see that something was wrong with John the moment he entered the control room, he seemed distance and caught up in a flashback…" Scott said remembering seeing John lost in thought and emotionless.

"We called out to him to see if he was ok and offered his chair back… it was then that he froze up and broke down" Virgil said looking across at Scott, who nodded and grasped his glass tightly.

"We got him back over to the rocket and it was there that we got to John, to why he had broke down like that in the satellite" Scott said with a sigh and rubbed the glass across his forehead like he often did when he had a headache building up.

Virgil sighed and remembered the conversation too well.

"_I'm letting you down, I-I just thought that maybe once she was repaired then I can come back up here and t-take my place back amongst the team" John's voice sounded strained and cracked amongst the sobs that echoed through his body and along his throat._

"_Why would you think that John? You're our brother before a member of International Rescue!" Scott said, as they were all closer as a family than as a team even though they didn't act like it out in the field. _

_John didn't answer but coughed quietly, moving his hands away from his face. "I-I-I'm sorry…" He muttered before looking at the floor of the rocket._

"What do you think is going to happen now Dad?" Scott asked, his eyes closed and part of his face covered in the glass.

"We have to wait and see Scott, see how John is once he's woke up" Jeff said his head resting on his hands with a small frown written on his face.

"In the mean time, I suggest that you two go and have a shower and get changed before going out and get some sun while its still in the sky" Jeff said looking out of the large patio doors to see cloud building on the horizon over the ocean.

"Ok Dad, what about you? Are you going to keep an eye on John?" Virgil asked worried for their brother.

"Yes, I think that is best that one of us does especially as I'm not sure if the nightmares have finished with him" Jeff replied with a sigh and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"We can take turns Dad, keep an eye on him together so some of us can get some rest while one of us watches over John… I am worried about him though," Scott said from behind his glass before lowering it to take a sip.

"I am too son we have to try and talk to him when he wakes up… but for now we just have to let him sleep" Jeff said helping himself to his glass on the table in front of him.

"Ok Dad" Scott and Virgil said together as Virgil helped himself to his drink as he rose up off the couch and headed off to the sundeck for some much needed sun, followed closely by Scott.

* * *

John muttered in his sleep as he turned over in his bed, taking his sheets with him tangling his arms and legs amongst the sheets. He continued to toss and turn in his sleep and made his arms and legs even more tangled in his sheets.

Jeff entered the room to find John muttering and rested a hand on his son's forehead, "It's ok John… I'm here, everything is ok" He spoke softly as John slowly calmed down and woke up.

"D-dad" John spoke softly with a slight croak in his breath before freeing his arms and legs from the tangled up sheets, seeing that he was covered in sweat from the small nightmare and back in his bedroom while he stayed on the island.

"It's ok John, do you want to talk about it?" Jeff asked sitting down on the edge of the bed, watching John free himself from his sheets throwing them off the bed so he can change them later.

"Maybe after a shower, I feel awful…" John said with a sigh and ran a hand through his hair, feeling the back of it cling to the back of his neck slightly with a wince.

"Ok John, I'll go down to the kitchen and get you something to eat… is there anything you want?" Jeff asked getting up off the bed, John following him to strip the sweat soaked sheets off his bed with what he could see was long time practise.

"A pizza sounds great Dad" John said with a tired smile as he rolled up the dirty sheet.

Jeff smiled with a small laugh, "Ok, a pizza it is" He said and left the room to allow his second eldest son to change his bed and have a shower in peace.

Half an hour later Jeff had finished cooking the pizza and was sat at the table with John just joining him with his hair still damp from the shower he had.

"Feel better? Made you hot chocolate too, knew that you would need your sugar from somewhere," Jeff said with a smile pointing at a steaming cup of hot chocolate sat next to the plate with a large cheese and tomato pizza on it.

"Great Dad, thanks smells great… where is everyone else?" John asked as he sat down at the table with Jeff and pulled the cup of hot chocolate closer to him before blowing on it gently then took a sip with a grateful sigh.

"Scott disappeared up into the library but I expect that he's asleep up there" Jeff said with a smile and a slight shake of his head.

"Virgil is asleep out on the sundeck and Gordon is in the gym like he always is this time of day" Jeff continued remembering that Brains was working down in the laboratory while the Belegant family was in their own chalet for the rest of the day.

John nodded as he sipped on his hot chocolate a little more, grateful for the hot sugary drink. "Sounds like everything is normal here…" He said with a smile before putting the cup down and helped himself to a slice of pizza.

"Wish it was normal John, are you going to talk to me about the nightmares?" Jeff asked watching John eat the pizza slice slowly, chewing at it a little longer than normal.

Once John had swallowed his mouthful, he placed the rest of the slice back down on the plate before holding the cup containing his cooling cup of hot chocolate close. "Just where to start Dad… I mean that there are so many of them but all ending in similar ways of either me…" He stopped feeling his throat close up and he closed his eyes as they began to burn.

Jeff watched his son waiting with baited breath hoping that John could continue to talk his nightmares through but saw that he was close to tears once more, which was a good thing.

"I talked to Scott a few days ago before you came back from mainland… he mentioned the nightmares he has had of how events could have gone differently, Virgil has been like the same" Jeff spoke quietly seeing John look up with his blue eyes shining with unshed tears.

"I have even had calls from Wharton saying that Alan had been having trouble keeping awake in class" He carried on, using the soft voice and tried to calm John down enough to have him talk.

"I have had nightmares too son, and they were bad but I was able to talk about them with the others… but you John, I wish that you would talk to us and not suffer alone" Jeff said with a smile.

"I'm sorry Dad… I just been so foolish thinking that if I ignored the nightmares then they would just go away and once that she was back online that we could go back to the way things were before…" John said with a slight croak in his voice and coughed to clear it.

"Before the attack… but that's where you're wrong John" Jeff said finishing the sentence for his son. "We have changed for the better and learnt from our mistakes so that none of our machines will ever get in danger again" He said with small sigh as he got up on to his feet to get a coffee.

"Sorry Dad…. I'm ok talk now," John said before sipping on his hot chocolate in the need of the sugary goodness that came from the hot drink.

"Ok John, let me get a coffee then we can talk" Jeff said with a smile and got to work in getting himself a coffee before sitting back down at the table.

John took a deep breath and began from the first nightmare that he had had, hoping that once he got them all off of his chest that they will stop.


	5. Chapter 5

**Insomnia **

**Chapter Five **

_Are you sure that you're ready to go back John? We can take it one step at the time _Jeff's voice echoed in John's mind as he looked out onto the ocean from his balcony of his room.

"I'm sure Dad, I've got to do this…even though I fear what I might do back up there" He muttered, leaning down on his arms as they were crossed in front of him on the bars that made up the balcony ledge.

_Hey John, ready to hit the simulators? Don't want to get rusty now do you? _Scott's voice echoed in his mind.

_If I spend any more time in there Scott then I would be able to out fly you on your own bird_ John's reply with a slight laugh appeared in his head.

John shook his head trying to clear the voices of the memories repeating themselves in his mind before he moved back away from the balcony and looked into his room to see his bag almost full.

Gordon was prepping Thunderbird Three along with Jeff and they would all go up oanto Thunderbird Five to give the satellite once last check while Jeff said that he would stay up in the geostationary orbital satellite with John for a week or two.

John believed that his dad just wanted to stay up and check on him, see if that the talks they have had over the past month had helped with John getting over what had happened in Thunderbird Five.

The brothers argued that Jeff should stay on the island saying that it was important that he stayed there incase anything went wrong with Tracy Industries but Jeff simply said that Scott had been learning how to run the business and it wasn't like he wasn't going to be easy to contact. He then told the whole family that they mattered to him first and always had even though Jeff didn't show it.

_I love you all, I know I don't show it or say it enough but I do! You should be able to tell me anything that you are afraid to tell me or show me that is what got us into this mess in the first place. So I'm going with John like it or not! _

John smiled as he checked over his bag, _Thanks Dad that means a lot_ He thought as he did his bag up and slung it up on his shoulder before looking over his earth-side room for the last time in what will probably be a month.

One last sigh, John left the room closing the door behind him before walking down to the office where his family had gathered to see him off. _Just like when we first started except this time its just three of us going up there instead of all five of us._ He thought with a soft smile shifting the bag up farther up his shoulder.

"Thunderbird Three go ahead, you're good to go!" John said cheerfully going over the new systems while checking over the airlock to make sure it had been locked down successfully.

"F-A-B Thunderbird Five, we're all set here so see you in a month!" Gordon's voice came back with the same cheerfulness.

"Yeah hopefully will keep you on your toes this month, see you around Gordo!" John replied before cutting the communication channel and he looked out of the window to see the large red rocket fly by the satellite before disappearing around the planet to go back to the island.

John sighed deeply; it had been three months since his first return after his break down and the first month had gone quickly with Jeff up here to help him settle back into the routine offering any assistance or just to be there to talk to.

Now, International Rescue was back to its full operations without a hitch even if the last two months had been quiet with only ten rescues in a month compared to the average twenty.

Scott had called up to ask if he was ok, just being the typical big brother watching out for his other brothers.

John shook his head at the memory, _That and he was bored_ He thought to himself with a smile as he got his baby to go over the planet surface scanning for any brewing trouble that only the Thunderbirds could help with.

Going over the input and happy that the satellite was going to do what he asked, John pulled back away from the console and walked out of control to the living space. He looked out of the large glass windows and sighed deeply with a sigh of content, "I'm home" John said out loud to the satellite to hear beeping from a computer nearby as he entered the living space welcoming him back.

Going across to the large window that showed a part of the view of deep space, John sighed deeply again looking out at the stars without any help from his telescope or Thunderbird Five's scanners.

_The fear is still there, it still haunts my dreams but now I know that that's all they are, they are dreams. They are dreams of the past and we all have learnt from these, the dreams will remain to remind me that things have changed but they have changed for the better. _

John looked around the living area seeing that it had been remodelled slightly as the whole of the geostationary orbital satellite had been; sections had been rebuilt and redesigned for the better.

_Yeah, the changes are for the better. We're back and we're going to stay! I'm no longer afraid of the darkness, I feel that the darkness will come one day but for now I treat the darkness with respect knowing that somewhere amongst it there is always a small light of hope. _

_That's right, a small light penetrating the darkness. _

A/N: Wow that was shorter than I thought it would be, but then have got other things on my mind like Tears. That is going to be fun to wrap up and feels like it will be the longest chapter even though keep telling myself that the song I have selected is not as long as the last.

Well this is Insomnia, it is complete now and I hope that you all have had fun reading it like I have writing it. An idea that started one night when I simply couldn't sleep going into a longish rollercoaster of emotion for the characters of the story and the author,

This is why I would like to thank my beta-reader and boyfriend, Andrewwilliams for his support throughout this fic and helping me with Tears, as that is the new challenge but like this one, closing its end.

So from me, Kate Maxwell, I say goodbye and keep reading.

End A/N


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